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east end doula care
bringing balance to an unbalanced time
End of Life Doula - Certified Senior Specialist - Advanced Directive Consultant
Author - Legacy Creator - workshop presenter
CERTIFIED END OF LIFE GUIDE
ELDER CARE SPECIALIST
ADVANCE DIRECTIVE CONSULTANT
CERTIFIED TRAINING SPECIALIST
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A Poem - Sending My Love
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be My Valentine" just like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you more this year, than last year on this day. My love for you will always grow with every passing year".
She knew this was the last time, the roses would appear. She thought he'd ordered, in advance, before this very day, her loving husband did not know he soon would pass away. He liked to do things early, way before the time, then if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase, then sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours in her husbands chair, while staring at his picture and the roses sitting there. A year went by, so hard to live without her mate, with loneliness and solitude, this had become her fate.
Then the very hour, as on Valentines before, the doorbell rang and there were roses, sitting by the door. She brought the roses in, she looked at them with shock. Went over to her telephone to call the flower shop. The owner answered and she asked can you please explain, why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? "I know your husband passed away, more then a year ago", the owner said, "I knew you'd call me on this day and you would want to know. The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance. Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance. There is a standing order on file here, and as he paid well in advance, you'll get them every year, again leaving nothing to chance. There is one other thing that I think you should know, he wrote a special card, he did this years ago. Then should the day that I find out, he's no longer here,
that's the card that should be sent to you the following year."
She thanked him calmly and hung up the phone with her tears now flowing hard, her fingers shaking badly as she reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw, he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been too hard, for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely and the pain is very real. Or if it were the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared has made everything so beautiful in our life, I loved you more then words can say, you were the perfect wife. You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need, I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears, That is why the roses will be sent to you for years. When you get the roses, think of all the happiness we had together and how we both were Blessed. I have always loved you and know I always will, but my love, you must go on, you have some living still. Please ... try to find happiness, while living out your days, I know it's not so easy but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, when your doors not answered, when the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, to take the roses to the place where I've instructed him to send,
and place the roses where we are, together once again.
When we were born, we boarded a train. We didn’t know where it was going or when we would get there. We didn’t even have a choice. We met our parents on the train and believed they would always be near no matter where it took us or how long it took to get there.
One day, the trained stopped and our parents stepped off leaving us all alone for the remainder of the journey.
As time went on, other people boarded the train, it was exciting. Our siblings were there, friends, children and the loves of our lives. Many of them got off at certain stops while others got on. Sometimes there were people on the train we didn’t even notice. Before long they too vacated their seats and were gone.
This train ride was full of joy, sorrow, hello’s and goodbye’s. When the conductor came by he told me that in order to have the best train ride possible, I needed to have a good relationship with all the passengers that come and go and give the very best of myself at all times. He told me this is a short journey and we only have one go around. I asked him when it will be my time to leave. He told me this was the biggest mystery of all and that no one knows which station they will have to exit.
So I got to thinking. We really should live the best way we can, love this ride, enjoy every moment, be grateful and appreciative at all times.
Not one of us knows which station or on which day we will have to step off. So if we live our very best and love all the people on the train unconditionally, when it’s time for us to leave, we will be leaving beautiful memories for all those who will continue on in the journey.
Be happy, have the most joyful journey ever. Reap success in all you do and feel the peace we all have deep in our hearts. Rid your worries, rid your fears and thank God for the journey. He’s been guiding us all along. For all we know it may be the only one we have.