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Our Blog

An ongoing series of informational entries

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March 15, 2020

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February 14, 2020

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January 15, 2020

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Our Blog

An ongoing series of informational entries

Our Latest Blog Entry

March 15, 2020

Click this text to start editing. This blog block is a great way to share informational entries with your visitors. You can click the green +/- button to add new entries.

Our Second Blog Entry

February 14, 2020

Click this text to start editing. This blog block is a great way to share informational entries with your visitors. You can click the green +/- button to add new entries.

Our First Blog Entry

January 15, 2020

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Our Blog

An ongoing series of informational entries

10 Ways to Gift Love and Time This Year Instead of the Usual Sweater

December 23, 2019

I think we can all agree that giving gifts is fun, something we’ve been doing since we were little. Making a beautiful finger painted piece of art for our parents was a natural part of our being. Shopping, finding the gift, wrapping it and waiting for that starry eyed expression and thankful hug is most certainly heartwarming.


Sometimes however, finding the perfect gift can get a little tedious over the years. They have enough clothes to last a lifetime. If they never purchased another item for the inside of their house, life would still be okay.


Put a little thought into your gifts this year. It make take more than a day, so make your list early and give it a little extra thought. This year, give them a priceless memory. One that will stay with them for a lifetime, unlike the fuzzy sweater that may shrink next week anyway.


There have actually been studies that have shown that material things, do not equal or measure up to the happiness that a gift from your heart can. Gifting a memory or experience can contribute to feeling more happy, loved and satisfied than any material possession.


Sharing time and having an experience with a person we care about let’s us feel connected on an intimate level in a way that the wool just can’t. Even meeting each other for pizza the week before Christmas can have such a bigger effect than the ball of yarn.


You will bond and connect more, isn’t this what we all really want. To feel connected and loved, not too much to ask for.

These experiences can be simple or more elaborate. Depending on time, money or the recipient, think as you make your final decision on this years gift.


1. Memberships

These are nice and last so much longer then the knitted mess. Museum memberships, gym memberships or memberships to the local theater that hosts concerts or plays. I would love to get that! The gift that keeps on giving, what fun!


2. Movies

For the movie buff, buy a package so they can go to the movies all year and whenever the mood strikes. You may think it isn’t a big deal, but for the movie lover, to be able to go anytime and be treated, wow!


3. Sports

Not for everyone, but for the sports lover, choose their favorite sport or team. Get them a package so they can go several times. Who gets a gift like this, amazing! Professional or college, throw in an uber gift card so they don’t even have to drive, awesome!


4. Hobbies

Think about the things they love to do, or loved to do. Maybe they loved to paint or sculpt. There are classes for this. How about Yoga or Tai Chi? How about an instrument they used to play or always wanted to play. My sister in law loved the flute and had hers stolen in the last year of high school just before the big event. Her parents never did help her replace it. Thirty years later I purchased a used flute with sheet music and to see her expression when she opened it, priceless!


5. Plan a Day Trip

Any kind of outing or adventure is worth everything in the world. You are gifting a piece of your heart, your love. Plan a day, no guessing, have your details in place from the morning until night. You drive, and surprise them along the way. Be a tourist. It could be breakfast, a museum, a mansion tour, a winery and followed by a picnic lunch or dinner. It could be window shopping or a day strolling by the water. Make a gift certificate or buy one at Staples. Or just write it in a card, just be creative.


6. Magazine Subscriptions

There are so many. Find the newspapers and magazines they love. The gift that keeps on giving month after month. They will think of you all through year as they read and enjoy a gift they wouldn’t have purchased on their own.


7. Personal Craft Basket

Think about their personality. Do they like to garden? Do they they love to tinker in the garage? Do they love to read? Fill it with the NY Times Best Sellers! Fill a basket with crossword puzzles, real puzzles, games, cards and fun things to do! Fill a bucket with soaps and lotions and bubble baths. Fill a basket with colognes and all kinds of manly lotions! Just think of the things they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves. How about a basket of cookbooks from every culture! The ideas are endless.


8. Adventures

Depending on your budget, there are so many types of adventures you can buy. Scuba lessons, skydiving, water sports, escape rooms and more. Mr. Google is my friend! You can find all types of activities locally on there, try groupon also, great deals. Archery, dancing even cooking lessons. You can find some amazing things online.


9. A Spa Adventure

Rent a limo, or not. Just buy a few treatments at the spa, massages, facials or mani/pedis. Everyone likes a day at the spa. There are many other places now like Salt Caves and Flotation Centers. You can buy some nice face lotion and attach it with a certificate to the spa. Anything “feel good” will do the trick, it’s about the memory and the experience.


10. Make a Memory

There are so many ways to do this. Go to Michaels and purchase the supplies for scrapbooking and set a date to help them go to town. Set a time and date to help organize their photos if they aren’t done already. Buy a book like “Remember Me, the Story of My Life” and help them fill it in and leave a little history for their future generations. Buy them a recorder and arrange a time and date to meet with them, sit across the table and have a conversation with them. A few conversations! 


Get some wonderful stories and rich history on audio for their future families, especially the little ones that will never get the chance to really know them.

Anyone of these gifts come from your heart and soul. Be the one this year to think outside the box, a gift from your mind and spirit. So much better than a crazy ugly sweater, don’t you think?

Preserving Your Families Legacy

December 23, 2019

There are many ways to leave your thumbprint in history. With a little thought and imagination, you can be the one who takes the important action step in preserving your name, story and history. Maybe you haven’t thought about it yet. Or maybe you have depended on a Grandparent or your own Parents to worry about it. But what if they didn’t take that step or what if they simply can’t now.


A Creative Legacy doesn’t need to be extravagant or cost lots of money. You will be investing a little bit of time and energy that can have profound effects on your entire clan. Yes I said clan! Your tribe, your family, your relatives and extended relatives. Take action before it’s in your children’s hands and unfortunately, they will never know as much as you do now.


Audio and Video

This is my favorite as my work specializes in this type of Legacy Creation. Wouldn’t it be great to have a video or audio link to listen to your great grandmother telling you about her favorite recipe or about where she volunteered on the weekends in-between cooking for your great grandfather. Hearing her voice, listening to her stories, wow! This is your bloodline and heritage.


You may not have this treasure, however, you could be the one who does this for the great grandchild you may never get to meet. Do it for them! Buy a keepsake recorder and in the course of the month or year, turn it on and talk. This will be a task you’ll enjoy and better yet, a treasure that will go down in history for generations to come.


2. Family Tree or Timeline

This is a great way to open the doors for the other members in your family who may not know as much as you do. It will document all of the members going as far back as you can remember. It may even get you started in doing a little research to learn more about your own ancestors. Anything you do now, will mean more to your family then you will ever know.


There are many websites available now that offer free and easy ways to build your family tree that are easy to use and understand. Do a search and finds the one that is the right fit for you.

Examples:

www.FindmyPast.com

www.MyHeritage.com

www.FamilyTreeTemplates.net


3. Chronicle / Journal Your Families History and more

Put together all of your families important records, letters and health histories. Add a few family heirlooms and sprinkle them all together in a box, scrapbook or story book.


What a fun project to work on with other members of your family. Make it a six month project. A good reason to get together once a month to all add your individual ingredients, and complete a family generational recipe like no other. Fun to put together and invaluable to your future families.


Ask other family members to write a letter each month before your gathering to be included. It’s contents can be anything. It can be talking about the week they had or the childhood memory they had with their friends in the backyard. Just one more thing to add to your project.


Include a copy of this week’s newspaper or a people magazine. Include a copy of your grocery store flyer or photos that you recently took. Everyone will contribute something different which makes the project more fun. Get out your calendar, pick 6 dates to get together and get your party started.


4. Bury a Time Capsule

So many people are doing this today. A fun and engaging way to preserve family facts and memories.

Do a little research on purchasing or making a capsule. YouTube has a few good ideas. Fill it with mementos and artifacts from your time here and anything that you may find relevant to pass on to future generations.


It will have to be buried someplace suitable so you know it will be there in a hundred years from now and will be accessible on your chosen date to be removed and opened.


Be sure to leave your descendents clear instructions explaining where it is and on the date it should be opened, on purpose. This should be an important event for them and should be treated as so. There are websites today that teach you all about leaving your time capsule, the do’s and don’ts. You may find them helpful.

Not only will it be a remembrance of you, it will be a rich slice of history they couldn’t have got from anyone else in the world. How powerful is this! 


Think about you getting the instructions one day to open a capsule that contains pieces of your great great grandparents life over a hundred and fifty years ago! Wow! I get the chills thinking about it.


5. Leave a Creative Will

Sure you can leave a formal and impersonal and conventional will, this is important, however, I say get a little creative.


So you don’t have hundreds of thousands of dollars to leave, get creative. Of course get the important things out of the way first, and then think of the rest of your possessions. Think about your niece and they way she is in love with your Christmas houses and every time they light up, her face glows and her smile is never ending.


You have the opportunity now, today, when you are healthy and vibrant to leave her a story. Tell her about watching the sparkle in her eyes and tell her about how important it is for your treasured houses to be in great hands. Tell her how you’d like her to value them as her own and eventually gift them to her own children.


You can do this with so many of your possessions and for so many of your friends and family. You will make a big difference, not only for them but for you in coming full circle in your own life. How rewarding for the two of you.


Gift the dishes, the tools in the garage, even the clothes in your closet. Gift your jewelry, even the costume. Every piece has a story!


Use your imagination and be mindful in setting a little time during the month to set a place in plan in place. It’s all about being proactive and pre-planning. This is life, the world goes round, time flies by and our end time will come sooner than we all expect.


Do your part and help leave the legacy your family deserves.

3 Essentials to Know at the End of Your Loved Ones Life

December 21,2019

Being an End of Life Doula is challenging and can be draining to say the least. However, above all of this, I have to say it is a profound experience. It is a complete honor to be able to hold a hand and be there to completely support another human being as they transition over to the other side. It is magical, it is surreal. I guess this viewpoint helps me feel blessed to be chosen to guide and navigate a person through this journey.


I lost my friend today. I’ve spent the last six month’s with her. I began my journey with her, two days a week. This past month I’ve spent four to five days with her. Cancer. I watched cancer swim through every part of her body like a poisonous fluid flowing upstream that took over her mind, just this past week.


And how do I feel today? Yes I’m tired. I cleaned out her room today carefully placing one object at a time in a box to be donated. I gently folded each article of clothing and placed them carefully inside of the boxes. I played soft music and remembered all our days together. It was spiritual for me.


I will tell you what brought the tears. Four and a half months ago, I accompanied her to the Oncologist. The dreaded appointment where she decided to stop all treatments and accept comfort from hospice. On our way back, I pulled in front of Trader Joe’s, asked her to wait and ran inside. I purchased the largest and most beautiful lavender and white orchid plant they had and gifted it to her on this horrific afternoon.


Over the last few weeks, mysteriously, I watched one little orchid fall to the floor. It was watered, had sun and love. Seven days ago, there were 3 orchids left. Suddenly two and this past Friday, just one. My friend began to start hallucinating, calling out for her Mommy. I knew she was nearing the end. When I arrived THIS morning, the last flower had fallen. I still have the chills.


Death is a worldwide leading fear yet doesn’t need to be feared. Don’t be afraid. When you are afraid, you miss so many opportunities between the two of you. Embrace this time with mindfulness and love. Think peace, calmness, celebration and warmth. Think serene, serenity, a time to embrace and connect.


Looking back, I think of 3 key essential elements to bring into your families world. I’m hoping at least one of these will bring more calm into one of the scariest times in your life. All 3 would be the goal, but anything you do will help along the way.


1. Acceptance

The end of life is inevitable. We are all going to be there one day. Acceptance isn’t possible with a sudden tragedy, but it is possible when we have a diagnosis of some kind. We may not know the final day but we will probably know the year or months that are ahead of us. In many cases, families are afraid to talk about it. Shhh… let’s not talk about it, it will make it real! Well it is real for all of you. When you keep quiet and brush it under the carpet, you’ll miss so much quality and loving time together.


You have the power to help the whole family grieve better. The things you do today, the visits, the events, the dinners, the stories… can all change the afterglow. You can be a great contributor in the way this unfolds. Have open and honest conversation. Be clear with your words and emotions.


When you love someone with all of your heart, there is such a beauty that can blossom during the end of life that may not have before now. Bring it out and nourish it. You both have this one time to do dying right, don’t miss this chance. Tip that scale now while you have the chance. Every day that passes by is a missed opportunity if you don’t take advantage of this time.

When I say acceptance, I mean for each family member AND for the one who is leaving us.


Acceptance is like a magic potion. When we resist and don’t accept any given situation, we can’t move forward. We can’t eliminate the undesirable outcome, so don’t resist, surrender and flow with it. Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible and things are changing now. It will bring a feeling of peace and growth in the moments when you need it the most.

Make peace and love a priority now, no matter what occured in the past. Don’t we all deserve that at the end of life? Take the lead and help your loved one go down the most enlightened and peace filled path that they can travel as they transition back home.


2. Help With a Creative Legacy

More than half of American adults don’t have a will and many more have never talked to their loved ones about what they want to happen when they die. But it’s not all about the details of what happens after, it’s the details in how to handle the beforehand.


When your loved one is still clear and able to have the conversation, ask the questions. Talk about ways you can help them to leave a creative legacy so that their grandchildren and great grandchildren will really get to know them. Offer to leave a few letters or cards. Write a few stories about their life with them. Record or video conversations helping them to leave a rich history for their future generations.


Help them leave special gifts for the ones they love. They don’t have to be expensive but can be valuable in the creative meaning behind it. It can be a letter written with a piece of costume jewelry sharing the story behind it, where it came from and the importance of wanting a particular person to have it.


As important as it is to talk about the flowers, music and ceremony they want at the end, it’s even more important to discuss the work that you can do before their life comes full circle. Have the memorial party a couple months earlier! At the traditional funeral, what do you think everyone will be talking about? “Thank God Aunt Mary had that party! We laughed, told stories, danced and partied like ROCK STARS! More importantly, we loved, shared and said our goodbyes.” Do you see what a love like this can do? Make some plans.


3. Implement a Plan of Comfort

With any illness, there will come a point where our bodies slowly shut down and we get closer to the end. The more you learn today, the more comfortable you can help them be later on. The more comfortable you all feel in your surroundings, whether at home or in a facility, the more peaceful and at ease you will feel.


Of course we all need physical comfort and hospice can absolutely assist with this. But there are several types of comfort. We need to be comforted practically, emotionally and spiritually as well. Learn about these so you feel less stress along the way. All of this will help ease everyone’s mind during the process.


Breathing issues, skin issues, digestive problems, swallowing, sensitivity, fatigue and more. Communicating and conversations will educate you in all of these so there is less fear and assurance that everything is happening exactly the way it should be.


During this time, people like to be massaged. Touch is more powerful than you know. Set the space. Honor their life. Soft lights, soft music, photos, flowers, magazines, books and more. Bring in a feeling of ambiance. No loud conversations or drama allowed. Keep it peaceful unless they are like my friend who wanted to hear the whole 1968 Rolling Stones live concert. Today you can pull anything up on YouTube. Anything! She wanted to go on an adventure through a rainforest too! It’s a good thing I could introduce her to Virtual Reality.


Have fluffy warm blankets and pillows. Move things, bring things in. Schedule visits with friends and family so it’s not so overwhelming for them. Allow them to make amends with family, settle unresolved issues as early on, as you can. Seek out a local priest, pastor or rabbi to stop in. Keep a bible and other spiritual books on hand. They may not want them now, but they might later on.


Sharing stories now is extremely comforting, even when they can no longer speak. They will hear you. Their mind may be wondering and getting ready to move through the tunnel but they are still in the room. Never talk about them as if they were not there. Always allow respect and dignity at all times.


So as my night is winding down, I know one more angel has entered eternity. And I hope and pray… no, I know, that I did make a difference in my friends life these past months. And I do believe that one day, if I don’t pass away in the most perfect way, IN MY SLEEP, that there will be somebody sitting next to me, holding my hand, listening to me, telling me stories and listening to the Rolling Stones with me. Or Ed Sheeran, or Rob Thomas… I have a list. Heck, I love harp music too, so any of the above.


Just be there with me to hold my hand and walk me through. See you on the other side.

Our Blog

An ongoing series of informational entries

I Love You Grandpa, Please Don't Go!

December 19, 2019

“I Love You Grandpa, Please Don’t Go.”


Life is a funny thing. One day we’re taking a walk with Grandpa, the next he is too sick to leave the house or have deep conversations with. When we are young, we take these conversations for granted.


Do you remember being little, life was light and free. But as in control and authoritative as Grandpas can be, you could always see the sparkle in their eye and that special smile he would only give to you, there was a connection.


Grandpas does cool things with us. Grandmas call us to come into the kitchen and help her mix the cookie batter. And when your finished, they invite you into the living room to help them fold their laundry and actually try to make it fun. Grandpas have a different demeanor. They are all about fun, well most Grandpas are. I’m sure some could be mean, loud and start arguments all the time. But if you’re lucky enough to get one of the good ones, then you’re lucky enough.


The fun Grandpas take you outside. They show you really cool things in the garage. They show you how to use a tool, how to start the lawnmower and more importantly, all about the car. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Grandma, but folding socks sometimes had to be put on the back burner. Whether we went fishing, threw a ball or just sat out back as I listened to his cool stories, I loved being with Grandpa.


I grew older but it didn’t matter. I felt the love that I felt, when I was four. He still told me his jokes and still asked me to take a ride to the store with him, just to get out of the house. He was adventurous, awesome and loved me like white on rice. And now he is dying. And you’ve never been so scared in your life.


Death is a leading fear world wide. Everyone is afraid. We don’t know what to do or what to say. Depending on your age, it is common to pull away so you don’t feel or see what’s going on. This is natural. Even if you are older, you want to remember the good things. You want to think about all of the good times you had, not the bad scary things that are about to happen. 


I get it. Everyone gets it. But you, only you, have the power not to run, but to stay and be a part of a sacred and loving experience. Your very own Grandpa is about to go on the journey of his life and you only have one chance to do this right.

Think about this. 


Make a plan and help the family not to be afraid. You have an opportunity to “be the one” who steps up and make sure Grandpas life is celebrated no matter how much time he has left. Whether it be months, weeks or days left… or like the title of this article says, until Christmas… you have a choice now to help Grandpa have the best transition possible.


Look at the things he did for you in life. He made you smile and always had your back. He took care of everyone and no matter what, you could always depend on Grandpa. So now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to do one last thing for him. To make him smile and have his back. Take care of him now no matter what and let Grandpa depend on you. You’ve got this!


It’s wonderful if Grandpa has a big support system around him. Even if he does, you can be the guide. With weeks to live, life is coming full circle for him. Depending on his illness, he may be in pain, sleeping a lot or not as clear and concise as he’s always been. It doesn’t matter. It’s your turn now to go into his space and make it the warmest most loving space possible.


Grandpa is most likely at home or in a facility of some sort. Wherever he is, he already has a space. A room with a bed, an area he will spend more and more time in. You want to bring in some memories. Hang things on the wall that mean the most.


 If he loved to garden, load the room with plants. If he loved baseball, get out the gloves and balls and set them on the dresser. Have photos close by and a stack of reading material next to him. The news or the books he loves to read. Set an ambiance. Even a few calming candles are nice Make sure there is a capability to lower the lighting so it is warm and soothing, not cold and sterile.


Spend time. Time is the most important thing we can give. There comes a point in time where money means nothing at all. It’s all about the time spent, the stories told and the hands held. Play music! Soft sounds of nature, spa music, rap or Frank Sinatra. We all loved somebody.


If your Grandpa is coherent and speaking, please… run straight to Best Buy or Staples and purchase a recorder today. Drive straight over to him and just have a conversation. Any kind of conversation. Be mindful about it and talk about things purposely. Ask him lot’s of questions. Laugh with him. Tell him you love him. 


I tell you this because in a few years from now, you will seek out this article, find me wherever I am, and thank me. You will value and treasure this recorder and wouldn’t sell it for a hundred thousand dollars! It will become your prized possession, your children’s prized possession and their grandchildren’s prized possession. Mark my words.


As an End of Life Doula, I’ve spent the last days next to someone playing a youtube concert of the Rolling Stones that was live in concert, in 1968! No kidding! The smile on her face… PRICELESS! Talk about a profound moment, well actually a couple of hours. My heart was warm in knowing hers was even warmer.


Because we are afraid, often our loved one dies either alone or in a fear filled room with tears and anxiety. Step outside of the box, save your crazy emotion for later and let this time be the most memorable and sacred experience as you can.


Decorate the room, hold hands, play music, make a toast, read prayers… inspiring stories or the news section in the paper. Blast the Football game, play Christmas music and celebrate this man that you loved for so many years. Doesn’t he deserve this from you now? You can do this, even if your family can’t. Wouldn’t you want a send off like this, lots of family and friends loving you and guiding you towards your next big adventure? Of course you would!


Use your imagination! Nothing is right, nothing is wrong. He’s your Grandpa and you are his Grandchild. Prove it now. Take the lead and “be the one.”

I’ll tell you this… His life will surely come full circle with the peace and love we all deserve. Your’s will be filled with not only love, but the roots and the heritage that he is gifting to you on a silver platter. A big giant beautiful silver platter. Thank him now, while you can.

New Year Challenge - Reframe Your Story

December 1, 2019

We all have a story, even when you think you don’t. You were born, lived in a house with people who took care of you, you went to school, had a job, sometimes married and had children and if you are lucky enough and it wasn’t half bad. The problem with our stories is that we tend to remember the not so good things and they become a bigger piece of our puzzle then they need to be.


I want to challenge you to reframe your story for the New Year. I’ll show you an example below. It won’t take a lot of time. Depending on your experiences, frame of mind and imagination, you can do this in less time it takes to bake a frozen pizza.


You see, the problem with remembering and rehashing our stories can have a profound effect on our present experiences. We dwell on the negatives instead of the positives. They become more colorful and detailed in our mind. We talk about them with others but to our own detriment, we let them scroll over and over in our own minds.


All of this scrolling can lead to sadness, loneliness, disconnection, isolation and negativity. I hope you’ve been Blessed with all wonderful stories in your life, but as humans, we are prone to ups and downs, good and bad, happy and unhappy times. Our short amount of time here in Earth School, will either be an experience you are grateful for, or a story that leads to bitterness and unappreciation.


Today I am going to show you a brief synopsis of my story as it’s told before the reframe, and after. You will see the difference, the 360 it takes when reframed and stated differently is enormous. This is so important for all of us to do. Our minds are the most powerful tool we own. Most do not know that we have the choice to feed it bad and destructive information or positive and inspiring detail. The hardest part is making the constructive choice to do the latter.


So here is a bit of my story.


Before the Reframe:

My name is Susan Capurso. I’ve lived on Long Island my entire life. It basically sucks. I hate the cold weather, and the traffic here makes me want to leave this Island every day. I was the oldest of six obnoxious kids who I never got along with. My Father abused me for as long as I could remember until my Mother finally grew a pair and left him. We lived in a thousand different houses because she couldn’t afford the rent each year. Our electric was always being shut off and we sat in front of the oven to stay warm. I finally got the heck out of there and moved in with an abusive boyfriend who was an alcoholic and addicted to cocaine. I bailed him out each time, and after seven or eight DWI’s, I still visited him in jail. I married a man who was selfish and made me cry a lot. We had two boys. My life was a rollercoaster ride for twenty five years until he died of the flu. After he left, my Mother died too. So did my sister and brother. I lost ten more people right after them. Life is just too sad. I’ve left my job now to start a new business, WHAT… in the middle of my life? Who does this? I have no idea where my next dollar is coming from. End of Life Doula? What was I thinking? Life is too hard and I want it to change. I’m going to bed!


OH BOY! My stomach hurts writing that. Yours might too when you think of, or write yours. Play with it and have fun. If this is really the way you feel about the story in your head, it’s time to Reframe it!


After the Reframe:


My name is Susan Capurso. I’ve been so lucky to have lived on Long Island all of my life. I love the different seasons we have and get to enjoy them all, unlike Floridian’s or Alaskan’s. Our Island can be crazy during rush hour but it’s great that I’m healthy and able to go to work each day. I was the oldest of six and never lonely! Our house was loud and there was always something going on. My Father had a few struggles in his life and my parents ultimately divorced. I’ve seen a few negatives along the way but I’m thankful for them. These things helped me learn more about life and be able to help others along the way. I’ve had a few relationships in my life and was Blessed to have two beautiful boys. Life’s had ups and downs along the way but somehow, I always managed to get through and even stronger than I was before. In my second chapter, I’m so happy to say I was able to change careers and I’m now able to help others in a way I never thought possible. I survived several losses in my lifetime and in such a short period. With this happening, I am able to be a Blessing to End of Life individuals and their families as an End of Life Doula. I am pioneering on Long Island therefore spend time educating and speaking to many people about the the things a Doula has to offer. I’ve been creative all of my life and can now use this creativity as a Legacy Doula and guide so many people in leaving their stories for future generations. Wow! I still can’t believe I get to do this! Thank you God for all you have given me, today and always.


Do you see the difference? Big Difference! When I repeat the second story over and again in my mind, It takes my history to whole new level, enabling my future to be anticipated with open arms.


Try to reframe your story today. It will help you feel happier, more successful and positive in the way you move forward. It can’t hurt to try. Imagine trying and succeeding! It can take your whole future in a new direction if you allow it to.

Taking Time Around the Table to Let History Unfold

November 24, 2019

Most of us are eating with our families this Thanksgiving, some of us even have extended family coming over. Over the river and through the woods type of family. Take advantage of this opportunity to share some of your stories.


When we were young, we used to hear stories around the table every holiday. I don’t think we do so much of that anymore. Sure, we talk about our days and the weather, our jobs and our ugly sweaters, but not so much about the nuts and bolts of things. It’s time we talk about history, adventures and even the adventures that never happened.


Research shows that the children who grow up with these stories about their parents and grandparents, tend to feel more connected and share quality relationships with their families, even their extended families. They feel the roots that every generation should feel.


When you are preparing dinner, at the dinner table or after the meal, think of a few stories. Even when you think they are not all listening, they are. They are absorbing into their blood the connections you are sharing with them. Especially funny stories! With each story you tell, you are instilling a sense of belonging to the entire group around them. 


This is setting in motion the values that they will share with their own families one day. You may not think you are doing anything beyond sharing the words, but you are.


Talk about where the elders in the family grew up and met. Talk about your family name and it’s origin. Talk about who looks like who and who acts like who. Talk about your family’s nationality and the things your grandparents did when you were young that made you feel proud of their culture. Talk about your grandparents jobs and the schools they went to. Who, what, where, why and when?


Believe it or not, the more that children know about their family roots, the better sense of control they will have in their life. The higher their self-esteem and the more successful they will be. They will feel a part of something so much bigger than themselves. Talk about the most important stories to you. They certainly won’t remember them all, but they will remember the good ones.


Talk about your life, the things you did, the adventures you took and the events you are most proud of. Talk about the challenges you faced along the way, this shows them that in the grand scheme of things, they too will be okay.


There is no better time than the holidays to share this rich history. You will be subtly teaching the lessons and they will subtly be absorbing the lessons. I remember my mother in law telling me the same stories over and over again. Don’t roll your eyes, these are the most important to them and I can guarantee, you’ll be telling your children her stories… over and over again. I do it now!


Enjoy your holiday with your family. Be a little more mindful this holiday when the conversations begin. They won’t know any better but you’ll be smiling all the way through dessert!

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