East End Doula Care
Guidance Through Your Journey
Bringing Balance to an un-balanced time
Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Guidance
Certified End of Life guide
elder care specialist
advance directive consultant
certified training specialist
(Serving Long Islands East end - Suffolk County N.Y.)
When Our Time Comes - The Transition Process
One of our greatest fears in life is dying. Our own death or the death of someone we love. Will they leave me alone in the world? Will I leave them alone in the world?
These are all natural fears and questions we ask ourselves all the time.
Will there be pain in the end, what will happen, how am I going to get through this?
We may all die with a different diagnosis, or even plain old age, however, we all will die in a very similar way. Our bodies shut down entering this transition time in a very distinct way,
some more quickly then others, some very slowly with time.
Make sure you are very clear on your diagnosis early on. If you have not by now, make sure you are contacting your local hospice and finding out about all your options. Make sure your essential documents are all in place. We help with Advanced Directives if you need. Make sure all your practical needs are met. Basics of your accounts and policies. Where you want your transition space to be. Arrangements for a funeral, obituary, memorial or eulogies. Any legal matters, there may still be time, consult a lawyer. This is a very emotional time for all now. Have difficult conversations, you need to now. Ask for Help!
There are many signs and symptoms we hope to help you with when we come into your home. We strive to take away your fear during this time and help the whole process flow with more peace and ease.
Recognizing Common Symtoms
There are many ways of transitioning on to our next chapter. Our bodies somehow instinctively know what to do and how it will begin it's decline. It flows through each step and knows how to end it's own individual process. Everyone is unique in that we've all traveled different roads to get where we are today. Your body may or may not go through everyone of these symptoms, but it's helpful to be able to see some of them as they come on. Being educated is a way to lesson our fear of the unknown. The following may help.
Give us a call, we will guide and be your support throughout. Call for a Free Consultation.
As a body knows how to naturally die, It usually doesn't know how to do it without pain or discomfort. Not every condition will cause pain, however, there could be an underlying issue that will bring on the discomfort. Cancers will usually cause some pain, however, with the right care, these symptoms can be managed and un-necessary suffering can be avoided. Whatever the illness, once the symptoms are recognized and managed, so many negatives can be eliminated. Shortness of breath is common during this time as well. There are many techniques utilized to help alleviate this. Breathing techniques, extra oxygen, re-positioning, relaxation strategies and medications will all help. Anxiety is normal and quite common now. We work on ways to decrease this for everyone in your home, employing a more peaceful and calming surrounding.
Appetite, Vomiting, Nausea and Constipation
These are all natural parts of the dying process. Your appetite decreases. This is huge, not for the dying person, mainly for the family members. Somehow we associate eating and nourishment with healing and getting better. We feel that if you're not eating, you will starve. Quite the opposite now. This is the bodies way of beginning it's transition. Swallowing gets more difficult when you do eat, nausea, constipation and vomiting can incur now making life all the more uncomfortable and distressing. Fresh air, small soft meals, eliminating odors and prescribed nausea medications can all help alleviate these uncomfortable issues now.
Confusion, Agitation and Restlessness
Again, all of these symptoms are natural and most of them do occur. Not for all, but for most. When confusion sets in, when delirium has entered, this is all the ways that your body is telling us we are beginning this movement. Seeing others who have passed, not remembering where you are or being afraid are very common signs. Enter with calmness, no fear. Don't bring your own anxieties to the room, let them know everything is OK, you are there and not going anywhere. Re-assurance and love, these are huge right now. Read, talk to your loved one and show them, this is all OK. You may experience an awakening, this is magical and we will walk you through.
Sometimes near the very end, breathing starts to sound funny, sort of like a rattling sound. It can scare us. Our bodies are not in pain when this happens, again, it is a natural sign that the throat muscles are now relaxing and the body is naturally beginning to breath on a slower level. There is no discomfort, this can mean there may be hours or days left on this journey. You will find the person to be distant now, almost as if their door has opened up and there is a sense of welcoming that surrounds them, to come home. Assist in this journey, love them, be grateful and honored to have been a part of this sacred time.